i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
Love yourself —
when it’s fucking 2 a.m and you’re not even halfway through with your essay that was due last week.
when your mom is yelling at you because your grades are shit
when your dad comes home late smelling like booze
when your dog just died and youre the only one who took care of him
when your brothers girlfriend is cheating on him and if you tell him he’ll hate you
when you lost your best friend to someone you hate
when you think— no you wish that today was your last day,
just fucking love yourself because when every body is too busy trying to fuck up your life you’re the only person that can save you,
your life isnt some fucking john green novel, no one can save you but yourself.
there are too many vines of cishet boys in wigs making fun of girls. we need more vines making fun of cishet boys. girls wearing snapbacks and basketball shorts like ”bro hold my AXE i’m gonna draw a penis on this board” ”yeah draw a penis haha *frightened look at camera* i’m not gay tho”
'just you and me against the world' more like 'just you and me against a wall' am i right
i was so drunk and harry potter was on tv and i was mastrbating and dobby died and i was crying as i masturbated it was a disaster
Send me your name and I’ll make you a mini playlist that start with those letters
treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me
no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry
*4-second-long fart noise*
Lmao Jesus Christ lmao
This is the best thing ive read in a really long time.